A Shelter From Elder Abuse, Caregiving - AARP Bulletin

by: Sally Abrahms

When Tom* learned his 30-year-old son was moving to America from West Africa to live with him, he was thrilled. For more than 20 years, he had worked two jobs, as a New York City cabdriver and a security guard, so he could support his wife and seven children back home.

What he did not anticipate was having a drunk driver hit his cab, breaking two knees and his back so he was unable to work, as well as a son who refused to get a job. One day, Tom asked his son to turn down the radio. Instead, he stormed over to his dad, broke his cane and locked him in his bedroom.

Walking down the street another day, "I felt someone behind me," recalls Tom. "My son jumped on my back, and grabbed the food in my hand. I fell to the ground. 'One day I will kill you,' he said. I was in an accident and he was supposed to help me. I sacrificed my life for my kids, and this is how my son says thank you? Why did he do this to me?"

It's a question that staff get asked repeatedly by the dozen or so residents, like Tom, who come each year to the Weinberg Center for Elder Abuse Prevention located at the Hebrew Home at Riverdale in the Bronx, N.Y., the nation's first elder abuse shelter in a long-term care facility.

A whole new concept of protection

The concept couldn't come soon enough for the age 65-plus victims of physical, emotional, sexual or financial abuse, most often hurt at the hands of a family member who may also be their caregiver. Among the victims are those with dementia who may not be able to articulate the abuse; their bruises or empty bank accounts speak for themselves.

While Americans are living longer — thus delaying inheritances — unemployment is growing, the economy continues to sour and adult children and their older parents are being forced to move in together.

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